The Identity Crisis of High Achievers: When Success Isn't Enough

Jul 8

High achievers oftentimes seem like they have it all – success, reputation, and financial stability. To other people, they are the definition of success, but deep down, many high achievers struggle with negative emotions such as unsettling emptiness. It’s not uncommon for them to think that all the progress they’ve made and the success they've achieved simply isn’t enough. The internal conflict is the identity crisis that high achievers experience, but unfortunately, it’s not a widely talked-about subject. This article aims to change that and sheds more light on this important topic. Scroll down to learn more about why high achievers feel this way.

Table of Contents

Identity vs. achievement
True identity vs. appearance
Hedonic adaptation
Dependency on external validation
Fear of losing status
Conclusion
References

Identity vs. achievement

For many high achievers, the roots of ambition can be traced to the earliest days because praise is often associated with performance, whether it’s in the form of good grades, talent shows, awards, or even leadership roles. One study found that verbal encouragement increases performance on certain tasks.
With time, achievement becomes more than a goal – it becomes a person’s entire identity. Being applauded for excelling or trying to meet certain expectations leads to the belief that a person’s worth is tied to the output. In such a case, it’s easy to believe that lack of achievement is a sign of failure, not at the specific task, but as a person. It’s not that high achievers do well, sometimes they need to do well to feel valid and accepted.
High achievers often experience identity crises because their sense of self is constructed around performance. They tend to ignore the broader human elements such as uncertainty, failure, and emotional needs.

True identity vs. appearance

High achievers often experience quite a painful realization that they don’t know who they are anymore. Many of them have become a reflection of cities they’ve visited, people they’ve met, or roles played to achieve as much as possible and feel validated. As mentioned above, their identity is tied to achievement and success.
As they crafted an identity that looked good to others, high achievers lost connection with their true identity. There’s a major gap between who they really are and how they appear. Who they really are involves their inner voice and unfiltered self, with all their dreams, desires, and fears or worries. On the flip side, how they appear refers to the version projected to the world in the form of a competent and successful façade.
High achievers don’t separate these two aspects just because they feel like it. Instead, their ambition, performance, and hunger for constant success may create a division between the ideal for the self and the ideal for the world. In these cases, success isn’t enough – high achievers may still feel incomplete.

Hedonic adaptation

Hedonic adaptation refers to the general tendency to return to a set level of happiness despite life’s ups and downs. Also known as the hedonic treadmill, this phenomenon describes how humans become insensitive to new stimuli and quickly readjust to an emotional baseline.
What once brought excitement becomes expected. Success is a good example, whether in sports, business, or other aspects of life. With time, success becomes expected and anticipated, which takes away the excitement. The joy fades quickly as it is replaced by the next milestone that must be reached. The bar only gets higher, which paves the way to the identity crisis and feeling of emptiness despite the achieved success.

Dependency on external validation

One of the biggest reasons behind the identity crisis of high achievers is the dependency on external validation. This happens when we elevate others’ validation of ourselves and our efforts above our self-validation. Although it’s nice to feel appreciated, relying too heavily on external validation can lead to a rollercoaster of emotion, poor confidence, and dissatisfaction.
Without constant validation, a person may feel invisible. High achievers who associate their performance with identity and self-worth are particularly vulnerable to this issue. The absence of external validation usually comes along when people get used to a certain level of success and performance from a high achiever. They no longer praise the person as they used to, which may take its toll on a high achiever’s confidence. All the success they achieve becomes insufficient, not good enough.

Fear of losing status

The more a person builds their identity around being the best, the more fragile they may feel in the face of competition and failure. High achievers often feel they can’t afford to be vulnerable, imperfect, or slow down. Doing so would mean they’re losing the status of being the best performer at work, athlete in their sport, manager in their department, or something else.
Research indicates that people consider both the extent of a person’s reputational concerns and the social context when endorsing them as leaders. In cooperative settings, a person is less likely to be endorsed as a leader when they lack reputational concerns. In competitive settings, a person is more likely to be endorsed as a leader when they lack reputational concerns.
Regardless of your environment, whether it’s cooperative or competitive, being a high achiever and a leader (a person with a status) involves making wise decisions. High achievers and leaders, just like everyone else, need to be open to vulnerability and slow down from time to time. Doing so can help them learn more about themselves and recharge their batteries for the next challenges.
Your identity isn’t tied to your performance and success at work, so being imperfect doesn’t lead to a loss of status. In fact, one of the best traits of leaders and people with a high status is that they acknowledge their strengths and weaknesses, and use them to conquer challenges that come along.

Conclusion

High achievers are hungry for success. Their ambition is through the roof, and they’re used to making constant progress. Success often isn’t enough, especially when a high achiever attaches their identity and self-worth to performance. High achievers often put a bigger emphasis on external validation and consider it more important than self-validation. It’s possible to overcome this issue by looking at things from a different perspective – your identity and self-worth aren’t tied to how you perform; it’s deeper than that. Once you separate your work from your sense of self, you will be able to enjoy your success without assuming it’s not enough.